"I had decided that if I ever went to therapy I'd leave you out of it, but NOW!"

so, the two most important things that i learned over the summer are:

1) its horrifyingly sad that Harry Potter has no more adventures coming

and

2) NEVER work with a old, good friend. It WILL end bad.

Having said that, i will expand.

1) the day HP7 came out, I finished it and it was quite sad, but totally satisfying. It was a totally different experience to talk about the 7th book because there are no longer theories to discuss and debate, its just done. I would also like to say that I abigail eve bickmore was the one (in my family at least) who had the theory that HP was indeed the final horcrux. i did not however call he would come back to life! i mean, understand it, but really?! anyways, i am totally happy with the 7th and final installment of the life and world changing Harry Potter series! :D

2) while i knew that the friend i hired to work with me (at the job I am still horrifyingly at) was pretty flaky and in a hard place (aka life drowning) in her life, i figured that we had been friends long enough to think that she would at least give me the respect (out of friendship of course) to either stick w/ the job whole-heartedly before quitting or quit knowing that she wouldn't. neither happened. too much to explain and put into real words, but the short version is, she crapped out on me and blamed ME for it. HA! right, my fault...like i haven't heard that one before. funny. Our friendship is currently on the rocks and (as far as i can see) on a permanent pause. I'm so worried about her and how she is living her life, that if i put to much thought into it, I'LL fall apart because she doesn't care about her own life. I want to help and be the good friend, but i'm at my wits end and I can't do it anymore...i just can't. but, she refuses to see it...and until she does, i'm out. completely out; of ideas, of emotions, of energy. i'm done. i love her, but i can't be there anymore.

oh, and the other thing i've learned is: i'm a planner of many plans. i have thought out so many plans to the very final detail and have yet to follow through on any of them. i can't wait for the day when even ONE of those plans pans out...i don't even care which plan! it will be a great day...


okay, i'm done. :D

"I like to see you happy."

Its been awhile. Updates:

1) still a manager at stupid subway, but i'm used to it now so its not so bad anymore...just stressful
2) still planning on italy, just still taking sometime to figure it all out...i realize FULLY i can't go until have enough money to go and enough money saved for when i come back.
3) still single, hate it...not sure why...
4) my life is still only about subway...i do NOTHING else...its a little frustrating...
5) i've officially "broken up" with jake...haven't talked to my so called best friend in almost a month...that hurt like hell, but at least now i know how important i really was. and i can't help it...i still miss him...and worse? I still love him...
6) I am going to ATTEMPT to talk a photography class this fall and see where that takes me in where i want to go...i need to figure out my camera though....
7) also, i'm completely off my meds now which really rocks! I'm doing really well. I feel really happy and I really am just taking it day by day and just keep trying to make it through calmly and rationally!

well, life is going on and on and all i can really do right now is take it day by day and see where it takes me. especially since major future plans freak me out. This is a really crazy summer so far and not because anything particularly HUGE has happened but because i'm 20 yrs old and FINALLY in a place where I can go where I want to go w/ my future and be okay with it. I just have to figure that all out first...but its fun trying to figure it out...