"Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"

Holy 200th post Batman! This deserves a strong song. So does my life.

Well, so far being 25 has been kind of uneventful and well awful. And so has 2012. I am unbelievably busy and tired keeping up with school, but that is almost literally the only thing in my life. I am far to social for that to continue to be true. Yet, I have a very small social circle. I need to work on that.

March is going to be my "New Year". It is going to be my beginning to this year. I will forget January and February ever happened and move forward from here. It is the only way to survive this semester and come out on top.

Moving to Louisiana was/is supposed to be my fresh start, my "new me", my beginning if you will. I got lost somewhere along the way and I got distracted. I will figure it out. I am stronger, better, and more capable than I give myself credit for. I have always been too hard on myself and it stops now. It has to, because what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

"Sexy and I Know It"

Hell yes I know it.


I don't really know my point of this post. Truly, I don't. But I feel like I need to have a confidence boosted post since all my recent posts haven't been so happy.

I am doing better. It's been a rough few weeks emotionally, but I am doing better. I know how Awesome I am. and someday...eventually...things will go my way and I will get my dues. I just have to wait it out.

But I'm sorry, I don't think I can be fully happy for people younger than me who keep getting married. It's too hard. I am happy for them, if they are happy. But FULL happiness will be difficult.


I am going to do great things. It just might take time. Cuz i'm awesome and I know it. oh, and i'm sexy as hell (and i know it. ;) )

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

because that's all they really want. :)

Sometimes, it is just good to remember where you are heading and why you pursuing what you are. I am excited about school, genuinely and truly, but it is hard. So, sometimes I need to remind myself of my goal(s). This is one of the biggest. Nothing and no thing will stand in my way of it. That is my promise to myself.


I also need to remind myself of this goal and the "end game" when I have my rough patches. I got a tattoo to remind myself that my dreams and goals are what matters to me. They are important and THEY keep me going. My dreams/goals are worth something.

"Rolling In The Deep"

Yeah, yeah two Adele songs in a row. But once you read, it might make sense...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not someone who is easily defeated.

I know who I am and what I Want.

I am not someone who Crumbles at the tiniest heartache.

I know who I want to be and where I am Going.

I am not the person that allows Others to dictate how I live my life.

I know how to live my Life and when.

I am not the type of person to Give up when it all gets tough.

I know what I deserve and I know WHO I deserve.

I am not the girl that changes myself to fit Your ideal.

I know how Good I am and how lucky You'd be to have me.

I am not the girl that Allows a boy to shatter my World.

I know that I have the Prettiest eyes You will ever see.

I am not someone that forgets what makes me...ME, is pretty damn great.

I know that I can be Emotionally Demanding.

I am not going to make Apologies for who I am or what I want.

I know that might make me a Bitch.

I am not someone who is easily Defeated.

I know that the Fight is half the battle and I will Win this battle.

"Cold Shoulder"

Adele speaks to me. So that is why I chose this song.

I don't actually have much to say, I just want to try and stay on top of this blog and post a few a month.

I have started tutoring for my two classes that require tutoring and while it is intimidating, I am still excited for the experience. Hopefully I'll figure it out and not make it worse on the kids. :/

One of my teachers has challenged my class to "catch" ourselves and others speaking negatively about ourselves and to call out the people--both in the moment and in class. Her point is that if we don't believe in ourselves, how can we except young children (special needs or otherwise) to believe in themselves? She has a point. Luckily I know the majority of that class so when we do speak negatively about ourselves or a situation, we will call each other out but in a fun and friendly way and it actually does become a productive "activity". I have also, however, conveniently adopted the "Bambi" method of thinking this semester: "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." I feel this is a great way to handle it. I also have re-adopted (metaphorically) my HS track coach's mentality about the word "can't": "I am unable (or some other word) to do this task right now, but I am working (etc) on it" or something like that. There was also 10 push-ups if caught saying it, but that would be a little awkward to "drop and do 10" in the Union/Library/class. :)
Point: SAYING you CAN'T do something instills the idea that you actually won't be able to achieve it. Even just a simple re-wording proves that you know you CAN accomplish the task, it just might take some time.

I am also re-prioritizing my life. That's all you readers need to know. Details are unnecessary. But, priorities need to change or I will suffocate in the life I've been living.

A coping mechanism I learned once to deal with the stress/anxiety/depression in my life is this:
I am upset/anxious/stressed. I am not okay right now, but that is okay. I am allowed to be U/A/S. I am not okay right now, but I will be okay soon. (just as a talking/filler point)

So. I am upset. I am not okay right now. I am allowed to be upset. I am not okay right now, but I will be okay soon.

That's all. :)