"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

because that's all they really want. :)

Sometimes, it is just good to remember where you are heading and why you pursuing what you are. I am excited about school, genuinely and truly, but it is hard. So, sometimes I need to remind myself of my goal(s). This is one of the biggest. Nothing and no thing will stand in my way of it. That is my promise to myself.


I also need to remind myself of this goal and the "end game" when I have my rough patches. I got a tattoo to remind myself that my dreams and goals are what matters to me. They are important and THEY keep me going. My dreams/goals are worth something.

"Rolling In The Deep"

Yeah, yeah two Adele songs in a row. But once you read, it might make sense...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not someone who is easily defeated.

I know who I am and what I Want.

I am not someone who Crumbles at the tiniest heartache.

I know who I want to be and where I am Going.

I am not the person that allows Others to dictate how I live my life.

I know how to live my Life and when.

I am not the type of person to Give up when it all gets tough.

I know what I deserve and I know WHO I deserve.

I am not the girl that changes myself to fit Your ideal.

I know how Good I am and how lucky You'd be to have me.

I am not the girl that Allows a boy to shatter my World.

I know that I have the Prettiest eyes You will ever see.

I am not someone that forgets what makes me...ME, is pretty damn great.

I know that I can be Emotionally Demanding.

I am not going to make Apologies for who I am or what I want.

I know that might make me a Bitch.

I am not someone who is easily Defeated.

I know that the Fight is half the battle and I will Win this battle.

"Cold Shoulder"

Adele speaks to me. So that is why I chose this song.

I don't actually have much to say, I just want to try and stay on top of this blog and post a few a month.

I have started tutoring for my two classes that require tutoring and while it is intimidating, I am still excited for the experience. Hopefully I'll figure it out and not make it worse on the kids. :/

One of my teachers has challenged my class to "catch" ourselves and others speaking negatively about ourselves and to call out the people--both in the moment and in class. Her point is that if we don't believe in ourselves, how can we except young children (special needs or otherwise) to believe in themselves? She has a point. Luckily I know the majority of that class so when we do speak negatively about ourselves or a situation, we will call each other out but in a fun and friendly way and it actually does become a productive "activity". I have also, however, conveniently adopted the "Bambi" method of thinking this semester: "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." I feel this is a great way to handle it. I also have re-adopted (metaphorically) my HS track coach's mentality about the word "can't": "I am unable (or some other word) to do this task right now, but I am working (etc) on it" or something like that. There was also 10 push-ups if caught saying it, but that would be a little awkward to "drop and do 10" in the Union/Library/class. :)
Point: SAYING you CAN'T do something instills the idea that you actually won't be able to achieve it. Even just a simple re-wording proves that you know you CAN accomplish the task, it just might take some time.

I am also re-prioritizing my life. That's all you readers need to know. Details are unnecessary. But, priorities need to change or I will suffocate in the life I've been living.

A coping mechanism I learned once to deal with the stress/anxiety/depression in my life is this:
I am upset/anxious/stressed. I am not okay right now, but that is okay. I am allowed to be U/A/S. I am not okay right now, but I will be okay soon. (just as a talking/filler point)

So. I am upset. I am not okay right now. I am allowed to be upset. I am not okay right now, but I will be okay soon.

That's all. :)

"Haven't Met You Yet"

Because, well...I haven't.

I don't just post straight lyrics often but I need/want to this time.

********

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

"Lightening Crashes"

It is storming and I love this song...

Also, if I played the guitar, I would play this song all the time. (yes, it's super easy and basic, but it is also so pretty...)

School is in half-swing. I have been to all my classes and now know the basics of what all the classes expect and require, but I still don't know where/when I will be tutoring for my math class and that is bothering me. :/

But I am so very excited* for tutoring. *read nervous*
It will be such an incredible learning experience for me and I can't wait to get into it and start.

Also, this week starts the beginning of my new work out regime:
Pilates on M/W/F and Couch-to-5K with "15 min energy boost Pilates" on T/Th/S.
It will be awesome. I did 45 minutes of Pilates last night before bed and I have never felt more rested when I woke up this morning. It was great!

Um...that's really it for now. Oh! It is 100% official but it looks like I am going to Pensacola, FL for Spring Break with the LSU Habitat for Humanity! Score. What a great, fun and amazing experience! Yay! Spring break on the beach w/ the added better bonus of charity work!

Okay. That's all.
:)

"Crossfire"

I picked this song because "crossfire" sounds like a good fit for a work-out related post. :)

So a new semester at LSU has officially started. This might possibly be my hardest semester of college ever and if not, it will most surely be my most busy at 18 credits: Biology, Geography, Math, Education, ELRC (some computer class), and Human Ecology. All intense and all required for graduation. Did I mention that I have to tutor for 2 of my classes as well?

No. I am NOT complaining. Seriously, I'm not. I am actually really excited; nervous, but excited. The last time I have felt this good about my life and where it was headed was when I lived in... (can you guess?) Boston. Living in Boston when I did was exactly WHAT I needed, WHEN I needed. I found myself, my closest friends, and I was never happier before that time and I legitimately don't think I've been as happy since. Not to say that I have been UNhappy, necessarily, but moving back to Utah was clearly not the right choice.

On the plane ride to Boston I made a promise to myself that I would be only the person that I wanted to be and nothing short of it. I succeeded because I had no reason not to follow through. No one knew me there and there wasn't anyone to drag my past insecurities to the surface except myself. The same situation holds here--almost. With dad/step-mom being here, there are people that know me, but that doesn't really count. In Boston, I started nearly immediately with a routine of working out 4-5 days a week after work. It stopped almost immediately after I moved back to Utah. Why did I not IMMEDIATELY start that same routine (or close to it) here? School is seriously NO excuse.

So that is my point this post. I am going to attempt the work-out that my sister Sophie told me about: Couch to 5k. I have run a 5k before, so I can absolutely accomplish this. Plus, running 3+ miles 3 or more days a week is a dang good habit to have.

Losing weight, getting in shape and getting a 3.5 (or higher) are my goals this semester. Try and stop me.

"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow"

I love this song. It is beautiful.

I have been in Utah for nearly a month for the school break and it has been fabulous. It has been cold but tolerable. It finally snowed a few days ago and I kinda forgot how much I love AND hate snow. It is so very pretty, but so damn cold and wet!

My vacation home has been amazing...ly busy! But now that the holiday's are over, it has been a lot calmer and relaxing. It has been so fun to be able to spend lots of time with my family and friends but honestly it has been amazing to spend time with my nephews.

While I have absolutely enjoyed my time home, I am getting a little restless waiting for school to start (who woulda thought?). This is the longest break from school I have ever had. It is awesome and crazy at the same time! LSU, how I've missed you...

Oh, yeah--GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!!!!!!