Because someday this song will be about me. ;)
Well. The stress of a busy, full semester is getting to me. I'm doing fine, but I'm struggling. Contradict much? Let me explain.
I am doing all of my work and I'm doing it well, BUT I am procrastinating more, I'm introverting more, and I'm sleeping less (too catch up on my procrastinating). However, I am not worried about me, which means that no one else should be either. I am just someone who struggles with my emotions a little bit more than others, and that is okay. I let them get away from me from time to time, and that's okay too. Because, I find my way back. I am much more emotionally stable than I was the last time I was in college full time and away from home.
I am also having a little more of a difficult time finding my place here than I'd like. I don't mean apartment; I mean socially. I am doing fine, but it is not the same. I miss my family, friends and my life (as crazy as it was). I know without a doubt that moving was 150% the absolute right thing for me to do, but I won't pretend that I hoped for a little bit of the "Boston" situation to follow me. I guess I was just unbelievably lucky and fortunate to make as many friends as quickly as I did and with as many incredible people as I did. I couldn't even fathom replacing those friends, nor would I ever try, but I did except to have a little of that luck follow me. It isn't that I'm not trying--I am. It is just harder. I am almost 5 years older than the majority of people in my classes which isn't a HUGE gap in actuality, but in interests and ideas of "fun", it is a GIGANTIC gap. I guess it is harder to make friends as you get older. But I'm not giving up, I'm just a little frustrated and a tad disheartened. The friends I have made however, are great people. I enjoy them quite a bit. :)
I really had absolutely no point to this but to release some feelings of disappointment, frustrations and stress. This is not to worry any mother of mine that is reading this. ;-)
That's all.
October 26, 2011
October 13, 2011
"Someone Like You"
This song is just...perfect.
Well. I have conquered midterms. My 6 classes boil down to this: A, A, A, B, c, and the last is a P/F class so I won't know officially until the end, but I'm for sure passing. :) I'm doing damn good. I am loving it. Now, it is most DEFINITELY time for fall break.
I have just discovered a wonderful study spot on campus: this old amphitheater surrounded by trees and since the weather is almost constantly a perfect beautiful 80 degrees, it is perfect for outside study. I can get a tan, listen to music and get some pretty serious text book reading done. Look how beautiful it is!
Last Saturday I somehow managed to get a ticket to the LSU v. Florida game. Now, not only is LSU football a religion in and of itself here, going to the Florida game is like Christmas. It was pure insanity! I mean look at the stadium! It was packed full and then hundreds more! That doesn't even cover the people who didn't go to the game but were tailgating outside of the stadium. Don't get me wrong- I had fun, but unless you are getting drunk and love navigating for HOURS through pedestrians who think they own the roads on gameday, then tailgating is just NOT worth it. It just isn't. But seriously, look at that stadium!
I am most definitely having fun here. I am not a full blooded Gold and Purple tiger yet, but I'm having fun getting there.
Oh, and I get to register for my next semester classes and summer classes in 2 weeks. CRAZY!! However, super fun and excited!!
Well. I have conquered midterms. My 6 classes boil down to this: A, A, A, B, c, and the last is a P/F class so I won't know officially until the end, but I'm for sure passing. :) I'm doing damn good. I am loving it. Now, it is most DEFINITELY time for fall break.
I have just discovered a wonderful study spot on campus: this old amphitheater surrounded by trees and since the weather is almost constantly a perfect beautiful 80 degrees, it is perfect for outside study. I can get a tan, listen to music and get some pretty serious text book reading done. Look how beautiful it is!
Last Saturday I somehow managed to get a ticket to the LSU v. Florida game. Now, not only is LSU football a religion in and of itself here, going to the Florida game is like Christmas. It was pure insanity! I mean look at the stadium! It was packed full and then hundreds more! That doesn't even cover the people who didn't go to the game but were tailgating outside of the stadium. Don't get me wrong- I had fun, but unless you are getting drunk and love navigating for HOURS through pedestrians who think they own the roads on gameday, then tailgating is just NOT worth it. It just isn't. But seriously, look at that stadium!
I am most definitely having fun here. I am not a full blooded Gold and Purple tiger yet, but I'm having fun getting there.
Oh, and I get to register for my next semester classes and summer classes in 2 weeks. CRAZY!! However, super fun and excited!!
October 7, 2011
"I Want It That Way"
You ALL knew it was gonna happen. Don't act all surprised by the post title song. ;-P
So. Midterms. I hate them. Mine honestly haven't been bad. Truly, truly. Next week is TECHNICALLY midterms but teachers have been mean and try to cheat the system, aka they want their fall breaks early. This week I've had 2 papers (both 2-3 pages, so not awful) and 1 test. Next week I just have one test, but the rumor is that it is pretty harsh. :-/
No worries though, I have plans to study my ass off alone and with a friend. :D (i'm apparently all about the emoticons...haha)
I don't feel too worried about this weeks stuff, but you never really know until you ACTUALLY know right?...
I am SO excited for Tuesday though!! Grandma and Grandpa Bickmore are coming to visit!!!!!! I am so so excited to see them. I do not see these grandparents nearly enough and I am so happy that I was able to visit them by myself before I left and now again! It will be Fall Break from school while they are here so dad, Dana, and I will actually have real TIME to spend with them!
Once fall break is over, it is only like 6 more weeks of school this semester!! WTH?? Where in the world did the semester go???? However, with my estimations of how classes are going, I won't make any real predictions of grades because I don't want to jinx myself but let's just say if I was still get paid for my grades--I'd be getting BANK! :D
I have a few friends now. I'm working my way up! I'm happy here. I just wish my social life was, ya know...social.
as tigger would say~
TTFN!!
So. Midterms. I hate them. Mine honestly haven't been bad. Truly, truly. Next week is TECHNICALLY midterms but teachers have been mean and try to cheat the system, aka they want their fall breaks early. This week I've had 2 papers (both 2-3 pages, so not awful) and 1 test. Next week I just have one test, but the rumor is that it is pretty harsh. :-/
No worries though, I have plans to study my ass off alone and with a friend. :D (i'm apparently all about the emoticons...haha)
I don't feel too worried about this weeks stuff, but you never really know until you ACTUALLY know right?...
I am SO excited for Tuesday though!! Grandma and Grandpa Bickmore are coming to visit!!!!!! I am so so excited to see them. I do not see these grandparents nearly enough and I am so happy that I was able to visit them by myself before I left and now again! It will be Fall Break from school while they are here so dad, Dana, and I will actually have real TIME to spend with them!
Once fall break is over, it is only like 6 more weeks of school this semester!! WTH?? Where in the world did the semester go???? However, with my estimations of how classes are going, I won't make any real predictions of grades because I don't want to jinx myself but let's just say if I was still get paid for my grades--I'd be getting BANK! :D
I have a few friends now. I'm working my way up! I'm happy here. I just wish my social life was, ya know...social.
as tigger would say~
TTFN!!
September 24, 2011
"Changes"
It is definitely time to make some Changes.
Today, I had the chance to do something I have NEVER done before: help build a house. A HOUSE! As in when it is done, someone will live in it. How cool is that! I have joined the LSU chapter of the Habitat for Humanity organization and the main organization needed volunteers for a build today and I was able to go (obviously)! It was hard work, but it was fun. It was HOT, but it was worth it.
Today, we were just helping to put up the frame of the house which meant a lot of nail hammering, wall building, wall lifting and some wall holding. I even got to use a power saw. Oh yeah. I got to wear a nail apron and gloves and goggles and everything.
It was extremely hot though. Seriously.
The thing about families that are getting the homes that are built don't get them easily. There is a lot of work on their part--literally. Each family has to put in 225 hours of house building time, which can include the mandatory requirement of working on their own home. I got to work a little bit with the homeowner and it was kinda cool. She has done a lot to get to this point and a lot beyond that. The Habitat organization is great. The people do amazing things and the people who receive the homes genuinely earn it. I am so happy and proud to have been a part of even just a little part of one of the homes. And I can't wait to do more. Heat be damned!
Oh, and the volunteer addition to my Peace Corps application doesn't suck either! ;-)
Today, I had the chance to do something I have NEVER done before: help build a house. A HOUSE! As in when it is done, someone will live in it. How cool is that! I have joined the LSU chapter of the Habitat for Humanity organization and the main organization needed volunteers for a build today and I was able to go (obviously)! It was hard work, but it was fun. It was HOT, but it was worth it.
Today, we were just helping to put up the frame of the house which meant a lot of nail hammering, wall building, wall lifting and some wall holding. I even got to use a power saw. Oh yeah. I got to wear a nail apron and gloves and goggles and everything.
It was extremely hot though. Seriously.
The thing about families that are getting the homes that are built don't get them easily. There is a lot of work on their part--literally. Each family has to put in 225 hours of house building time, which can include the mandatory requirement of working on their own home. I got to work a little bit with the homeowner and it was kinda cool. She has done a lot to get to this point and a lot beyond that. The Habitat organization is great. The people do amazing things and the people who receive the homes genuinely earn it. I am so happy and proud to have been a part of even just a little part of one of the homes. And I can't wait to do more. Heat be damned!
Oh, and the volunteer addition to my Peace Corps application doesn't suck either! ;-)
September 22, 2011
"I Will Follow You Into the Dark"
I will follow you into the Dark. Fitting...
There are so many MANY flaws with the death penalty and it is never the right thing in my personal opinion. But it is most definitely NEVER the right thing when there is even a shadow of doubt about whether or not the person who might be executed is innocent. Too many people in the history of the death penalty have later been proven to be innocent at the presence of new evidence, but it doesn't matter because those people are dead. This is not okay. This is NEVER okay.
This morning in the LSU student paper was a story about LSU students mourning the death of a Georgia man executed for a crime he may not have committed. Where is the justice in that?
I don't see a future where I will believe that there is ever a justifiable reason to put another person to death in the name of "punishment".
There are so many MANY flaws with the death penalty and it is never the right thing in my personal opinion. But it is most definitely NEVER the right thing when there is even a shadow of doubt about whether or not the person who might be executed is innocent. Too many people in the history of the death penalty have later been proven to be innocent at the presence of new evidence, but it doesn't matter because those people are dead. This is not okay. This is NEVER okay.
This morning in the LSU student paper was a story about LSU students mourning the death of a Georgia man executed for a crime he may not have committed. Where is the justice in that?
I don't see a future where I will believe that there is ever a justifiable reason to put another person to death in the name of "punishment".
September 21, 2011
"Forever Young"
Because, I really do wanna be Forever Young (yes, intentionally this version).
For some of my classes this semester, I have to do some observation hours in classrooms; to see if this is the career path for me and see if the age group I want is really what I want to do.
I have been to the same preschool class 3x and it has been great. They are such great kids. Truly. Sweet, kind, smart kids. The teacher I observed was excellent. She was beyond the expectations, because in my classes I have come to expect horror stories. She was truly not only beyond the expectations, she was the exception-I'm sure of it. She is highly educated and trained, and she loves what she is doing. Oh, and she fights the "inappropriate government" measures--within reason. It was so fantastic to see. Now that I have observed her classroom 3x, I have to find another school to observe. I'm not necessarily worried or scared, I'm more sad. Those kids! :( They are so friggin' cute!! I have now come to know almost all their names, and now I'm leaving. I did leave my email with the teacher and asked her to contact me if she ever needed help with field trips or anything else that would be beneficial with other helping hands.
In further reflection though, I honestly can't say if this is my CAREER. Do I think I'd be good or even great as a teacher? Hell yes. No doubt in my mind actually. I just don't feel like I'd do well in a settled career. I really don't. So, I have concerns with that. I know being a teacher is in my future, but I do not know in what capacity. One thing I know for sure is you don't have to be a teacher in a formal setting to be a teacher. So maybe that's me.
For some of my classes this semester, I have to do some observation hours in classrooms; to see if this is the career path for me and see if the age group I want is really what I want to do.
I have been to the same preschool class 3x and it has been great. They are such great kids. Truly. Sweet, kind, smart kids. The teacher I observed was excellent. She was beyond the expectations, because in my classes I have come to expect horror stories. She was truly not only beyond the expectations, she was the exception-I'm sure of it. She is highly educated and trained, and she loves what she is doing. Oh, and she fights the "inappropriate government" measures--within reason. It was so fantastic to see. Now that I have observed her classroom 3x, I have to find another school to observe. I'm not necessarily worried or scared, I'm more sad. Those kids! :( They are so friggin' cute!! I have now come to know almost all their names, and now I'm leaving. I did leave my email with the teacher and asked her to contact me if she ever needed help with field trips or anything else that would be beneficial with other helping hands.
In further reflection though, I honestly can't say if this is my CAREER. Do I think I'd be good or even great as a teacher? Hell yes. No doubt in my mind actually. I just don't feel like I'd do well in a settled career. I really don't. So, I have concerns with that. I know being a teacher is in my future, but I do not know in what capacity. One thing I know for sure is you don't have to be a teacher in a formal setting to be a teacher. So maybe that's me.
September 13, 2011
"Lighters"
Lighters....**explicit lyrics just fyi...
How far will I go? I can only guess. But my hope is that I go far. I don't just mean career, or education. I mean world wide. I don't know how to calmly or rationally explain how strongly I believe--no--how strongly I KNOW, that I am meant for more than a standard career. I'd be a great teacher, I really believe that but I just know that I belong somewhere that is struggling. That doesn't have anything easy. I know that I can't change the WORLD, or a country, or a state alone, but I do know that I am meant to be a part of the change. For as long as I can remember, my life's dreams/goals haven't been the common "doctor", "teacher", "police", etc answers. I have wanted to write, I have wanted edit, but more I have just wanted to travel. I haven't ever really pictured myself in a career, not really. I my wants and desires change so often and sometimes so drastically that I don't think I could handle a career well. I don't sit still well. The only thing in my life that I think has ever really stayed constant is my love for kids and my desire to travel. When I rediscovered the Peace Corps about a year and a half ago, I was suddenly hit with the answer I have been searching for. That is my life goal. I don't know how, I don't know when, but somehow I will do that. So That is my focus. That is my endpoint. That is my goal. That is what keeps me going. That is what is keeping me focused and going in school. I need my degree to join the Peace Corp and so that is what I will do. Graduation and the Peace Corps. That is what is next for me.
May 2014. Now, that's not so far away is it?
How far will I go? I can only guess. But my hope is that I go far. I don't just mean career, or education. I mean world wide. I don't know how to calmly or rationally explain how strongly I believe--no--how strongly I KNOW, that I am meant for more than a standard career. I'd be a great teacher, I really believe that but I just know that I belong somewhere that is struggling. That doesn't have anything easy. I know that I can't change the WORLD, or a country, or a state alone, but I do know that I am meant to be a part of the change. For as long as I can remember, my life's dreams/goals haven't been the common "doctor", "teacher", "police", etc answers. I have wanted to write, I have wanted edit, but more I have just wanted to travel. I haven't ever really pictured myself in a career, not really. I my wants and desires change so often and sometimes so drastically that I don't think I could handle a career well. I don't sit still well. The only thing in my life that I think has ever really stayed constant is my love for kids and my desire to travel. When I rediscovered the Peace Corps about a year and a half ago, I was suddenly hit with the answer I have been searching for. That is my life goal. I don't know how, I don't know when, but somehow I will do that. So That is my focus. That is my endpoint. That is my goal. That is what keeps me going. That is what is keeping me focused and going in school. I need my degree to join the Peace Corp and so that is what I will do. Graduation and the Peace Corps. That is what is next for me.
May 2014. Now, that's not so far away is it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)